5 months!

Amazing how big he got so fast.  Our friends brought over their 5-week old baby the other day and I was amazed at how teeny tiny she was.  Also funny is the fact that my strange fear of newborns returned.  

These days Rishi can sit up for upto 15 seconds at a time.  He still doesn't roll often but I know that we need to be giving him more tummy time.  I know you're not supposed to compare kids but my friend's nephew is rolling both ways and I got nervous/envious.  Didi (who is a mother to four and a pediatrician) says there is nothing to worry about but that's what first time moms do, right?  He is still just a happy, wonderful, and cuddly little monkey.  

Here's a new video.

Rolling rolling rolling

"Life moves pretty fast.

If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Ah, Ferris. The wisdom that you had at such a young age. I wish I could heed your advice these days but with all that life brings, I want to savor it all! Birthdays, brunches, dinners, and drinks - rLife has been full these past few weeks.

All the while, a little man has been doing a lot of growing. He's 15+ lbs now and 24 inches. Hard to believe at this time last year he was no bigger than a sesame seed. He had four more immunization shots and he was so sad. I think it was harder on me this time than the last. Probably because I had to go to work the next day and not know if he was doing alright. But he was. His Papa takes such good care of him. The next two weeks will continue to be busy but here's a video from last month. It is so amazing how he changes so quickly.

I am going to try to knit him a hat for his bald little noggin. And we're trying to get rid of the swaddle at night. I think we are in for some long nights ahead. Fortunately, I am getting used to making it on very litte sleep.

3 months

Rishi has been so busy in the past few weeks that we've been having a hard time keeping up with him!  He took his first long car trip (to visit Mom in OH) and then to NYC to surprise his Jishamma.  He was a perfect little Banzo Bean throughout the whole trip.  He and I watched the election returns come in together.  It is amazing to know that he will never know a time that a President had to be Caucasian.  His new tricks include rolling over (he only did it a few times on one night but we're hoping that he keeps going), grabbing for things (especially his toes) and laughing.  We're going to go see Dr. H on Tuesday for some more shots but I am sure he'll be a brave little soldier just like last time.  =)

Here's a video from his 3 month birthday.

2 month upate

Rishi is tracking and smiles too!

My Talented Chechi

drew this for us!

He is five weeks already!

I can't believe that my little guy is already five weeks old. This week (Tuesday) we celebrated his one month birthday. His Dadima (Mom) and Amamma (Amma) were both here to kiss him on his big day. Unfortunately, after one month away from home, Mom had to head back to Ohio. She was such a huge help for the past four weeks that I was a little nervous to have her leave. Fortunately, my mother was around to help me out. She doesn't have nearly the amount of babysitting experience that mom has but she was also a huge help. It was also really great to see Rishi bond with her. He flashed her a HUGE smile on Friday before we headed back to the suburbs. We aren't exactly sure if that was a smile or gas but we're counting it as a smile. Anyway, this week is the first one that I will be on my own entirely during the day. Yowza! Yes, I am very, very nervous that somehow I am going to break the little one but I am sure it's just more unncessary worrying.


Speaking of which, before I had the baby, I was very nervous about post-partum depression but I have to say (knock on wood) I haven't felt any of that since he was born. I am not sure if it is just because I have had so much help and haven't felt overwhelmed since he was born (other than the breastfeeding saga), or just because motherhood feels so good because he's so sweet, but things are going really well. My friend told me that maybe I just needed to have a baby all these years. Maybe he's right. Since I got pregnant with Rishi, my emotions have been so much more even. And he's just so great. Easy-going and cuddly. What more could a new mom ask for? Well, I guess some more consistency with the feeding would be great but we'll just have to keep at it.


We will be moving into a house in two weeks (September 14) so our apartment is the the throes of transition. We have met with three real estate agents and have picked the Mario Greco Group. He walked in with brown leather sandals (man-dals as my students would call them) and seemed really unassuming. Then after my quick tour through the house, he sat down and started his sales pitch. He went from normal guy to fast-talking Ari-Gold-esque (no use of the f-bomb) sales guy. We liked him though. His presentation was by FAR the most professional of the three that we saw and since we called to tell his office that we were using him, they have been in regular contact with us to set things in motion. I am very impressed with them so far. We are hoping to list on September 29 so wish us luck!

Packing with an infant around has been a challenge, especially when recovering from a c-section. We have some stuff moved over there already but the majority will be done by movers since I still can't lift much without pain. We are also doing some remodeling to the place before we move in. We hvae to get the cabinets raised three inches to accomdate RC's culinary needs, the floors on the main level need to be re-done, the carpets in the upstairs has to be replaced, and I really want to get the basement and the upstairs painted before we move in. We are also buying a new modular sectional for the basement.

One thing that we will not be lacking in this new place (at least initially) is space. I am really looking forward to having people over again. I feel like with last year's travel schedule, this winter's, uh, pregnancy, and this summer's, uh, pregnancy still and move we haven't had the opportunity/will power to entertain nearly as much as we used to. I hope the new home will be a place that people will feel comfortable just dropping by like they used to. Though as our family has grown, so have our friends' families and the ol' college-drop-by now involves diaper bags and some serious planning.

Wow. What a random post. This is what sleep-deprivation does, I suppose.

Over heard at the Roti House

A conversation between Didi and Roti #2 (age 6)

Roti #2:  Is Mamiji's [mine] milk for Rishi full fat?

Didi:  Yes because the baby needs all the fat for his brain to grow properly.

Roti #2:  So the farmer doesn't take ANY fat out of his milk?

For those who need some animation. . .

Didi and Jijaji bought us a zippy Canon HD camcorder. We have been playing around with it here and there but haven't worked on a complete project. Well, here is the five-minute project of Rishi's first week celebration. I know many of you from around the country/globe won't be able to see Rishi in these first few weeks so hopefully this will do!

Brutus continues to ward off Wolverines

rishi strobist-114
Originally uploaded by snapshot chandra

more piks after the jump.

24 Hours with Rishi - July 31

12 am - 1 oz pumped milk
2:45 - 1.25 pumped milk
3:50 - wet diaper
4:20 - 1 oz pumped milk
6:45 - wet diaper
6:50 - 1 oz pumped
8:05 - Nursed for 15 minutes
8:20 - Nursed for 15 minutes
11:25 - diaper change
11:30 - 1 oz pumped
12:45 pm - 1 oz pumped
2:00 - wet and soiled diaper
2:30 - soiled diaper
3:00 - Nursed for 20 minutes
5:30 - Jim Uncle comes to hang out with Rishi
6:00 - 1 oz pumped
6:10 - Chechiamma comes to cuddle with Rishi
6:45 - Melissamma arrives to play
8:05 - Nursed for 45 minutes!!!
9:00 - wet and soiled diaper
9:30 - Chechiamma says bye
10:25 - Mel and Jim leave
10:30 - 1.5 oz pumped

He's so cute, I just want to take him home!!

Thursday night, July 24, I went for a haircut and strolled over to my friends' house to hang out before heading over to Didi's place for some QT with the Rotis. The older Rotis had mentioned that things were going to change dramatically when the baby came so they wanted some Mamu/Mami-love before that happened. We were happy to oblige. When I left their house that night at 11:30, I was convinced that I still was not going to be holding a baby until the following weekend.

Boy was I wrong!

I woke up on Friday morning feeling like (forgive the TMI) that I had peed but I knew I hadn't. I just thought it was one of those late-in-the-pregnancy things so I told myself I would just talk to my doctor about it during my 10 am appointment that day. I was NOT going to call her and make my 5th trip to Labor and Delivery to be sent home again. As I walked out of my apartment that morning, I locked the door thinking, "Wow. The next time I open this door, I might be a mom already!"

I went to the appointment and my doctor indeed confirmed that my water had ruptured (but not fully broke) and she told me that I needed to be admitted to the hospital to be induced. I walked to my sister's office to tell her that I wouldn't be needing her help with an Excel spreadsheet but I would need her help to push and she just started jumping up and down. Usually, it's the other way around but this time, I was the calm one and she couldn't stop squirming. Then we walked over to Didi's office (all on the NMH campus) and told her. Her reaction was priceless - she was just in complete disbelief. My sister accompanied me to the Women's Hospital and we checked in at around noon.

The induction started at 3 pm. No internal exam was conducted because they didn't want to introduce anything to the birth canal until we were sure of active labor. My blood was collected to check my platelets but the blood got lost in the tube system so at 4 they had to draw blood again. We didn't get the results of the second platelet check until later that evening. We were all holding our breath to see if I could get an epidural. Well, I wasn't holding my breath. I was breathing pretty heavy as the contractions started to come in harder. We were also trying to wait for Mom to arrive but she didn't arrive until 7 pm. I finally got the epidural around 8 pm and the doctor said that nothing was going to happen until 3 am at the earliest. We decided now would be the time to sleep but the challenge was getting all the women (Mom, Amma, Didi, and Che) to go home and get some sleep too. I think they wanted to camp out all night at the hospital but that just didn't make any sense. We asked our sweet nurse, Kristy, to be the bad guy and she got it done! Unfortunately, Mom and Amma just kept Didi up all night at home instead of at the hospital.

At 3 am, the doctor told us that the pushing would start soon so we got everyone back there. We pushed and pushed from 4:30 until about 7:45 am. It was hard but that epidural is truly a miracle - I hardly felt anything. Unfortunately, RRC's heartrate kept dropping during/after each contraction. The doctor was a little worried and so she suggested if it continued to happen a C-section might be the best option. I told her whatever was medically necessary to keep everyone safe was fine by us. But his heartrate continued to drop and then it was decided at 7:45 that we would for a C-section. Again, not an emergency. Then, all the sudden some one said the words, "We have a crash." Now, I am not in the medical field but I have watched enough episodes of House to know that is a bad thing. The peaceful L&D room was flooded with 10 medical professionals within a few minutes - to me it seemed chaotic but they all had their jobs and purpose. I was terrified that they were going to put me under general anesthesia and I yelled out to RC that I loved him as they wheeled me to the OR. I could hear the panic in his voice as he told me that he loved me back.

In the OR, I was further doped up which made me horribly ill on the table. It was disgusting because they have to strap you down and I ended up almost choking on the sickness in my throat. The urgency of activity in the room continued and with it, my anxiety continued to escalate. Rohit was scrubbed in and even though all I could see were his eyes, the fear was clear and I knew that he had been crying outside. They had me opened up in minutes and the doctor annouced, "It's a boy!!" We were relieved when we heard his scream. Rohit was unable to cut his cord because he was rushed to the NICU doctors but they delivered the good news that his APGAR scores were 8 & 9.

We headed to recovery and he was scrubbed and Rohit finally made it outside to tell everyone that both Rishi and I were okay. I was almost completely unconcious as I made my way up to the Mother/Baby floor. It took me most of the day to come out of my anesthesia fog. Fortunately, Brutus was there to keep an eye on Rishi (picture above).

We had loads of visitors at the hospital over the weekend and it was absolutely fabulous to see Rishi get showered with so much love from so many friends and family.

We came home on Tuesday and the ups and downs of the first week home have been interesting. Our first night at home was something out of a sitcom. We couldn't figure out how to console him or get him to sleep in his bassinet. We tried everything and at around 4 am, I just started to laugh because just how much we fit the stereotype. We have struggled with the awfulness of learning how to breastfeed. If you want details, email me and I'll be happy to share. Last night, I think RC finally got some sleep because we decided to use a bassinet that actually goes in the bed. It was a night without much screaming and that was a relief to everyone. Then today, Rishi had his first doctor's appointment. He has lost 6 oz of his birth weight so now we have to try to pack on that weight over the next seven days. Unfortunately, he is a sleeeeeepy baby and we have to wake him up for his feeding most times. But I determined to avoid formula.

Well, that's our week so far. I have been trying to return phone calls and emails when I can but the every two to three hour feeding schedule has me tied up quite a bit so apologize to all those that I haven't returned their contact. It will happen sometime, I promise! More pictures coming to RC's Flickr soon!

Our colony now has three!

DSC_0060
Originally uploaded by snapshot chandra

more pictures after the jump.
We are doing well and expect to be heading back to uptown tomorrow morning! Can't wait to take Rishi Rajendran Chandra home tomorrow!
He's perfect!

In the past 39 weeks. . .

With a week to go until our due date, I decided to compile a retrospective on the past few months.

Day that I thought I was preggo:
November 22 (Thanksgiving)

Day that it was confirmed by home test:
November 23

When we told our families:
November 25

First time we saw a heartbeat: December 5

Appointments since then:
OB appointments - 17
Hematology appointments - 6
Other - 2 (1-genetic counseling; 1-anesthesiology consult)
Blood draws - 22
Ultrasounds - 6

Trips to Labor and Delivery with no labor or delivery:
March 30
May 26
June 14
July 9

Approximate amount given to to NMH parking: $234

Platelet counts
Highest - 120,000 (December 5)
Lowest - 65,000 (sometime in April)

Cities visited (outside of IL):
St. Louis, MO
Atlanta, GA (RR)
Cincinnati, OH
Oxford, OH
Madison, WI
Kettle Moraine, WI (RC)
San Antonio, TX
Austin, TX

# of weddings attended: 2

Baby Showers:
May 10 in Ohio
June 21 in Chicago

Movies seen:
Enchanted (Theater)
Wall-E (Theater)
Becoming Jane (Apple TV rental)
Rescue Dawn (rental)
The Dark Knight (theater)
The Incredible Hulk (RC - theater)
Wanted (theater)
I Am Legend (library rental)
Charlie Wilson's War (library rental)
National Treasure: Book of Secrets (theater)
Juno (theater)
P.S. I Love You (RR - theater)
(there might be others but I can't remember anymore)

Gadgetry purchased:
Canon HD camcorder (gifted from Didi and Jijaji)
Catchlight
many many many SD cards
the Fiddy (50" LCD from Costco)
2 iPhones

Knitting projects completed:
hat
Anya's baby blanket (finally - it only took a year!)

Baby's movements felt by:
RR - early March (but I thought it was indigestion)
RC - March 13

Names considered:
Boy Names
Keshav (curly - Krishna)
Madhav (Krishna)
Udaya (sunrise)
Vinayak (Ganesh)
Rishi (sage)
Ayaan
Raman (god of love)

Girl Names
Alka (lock of curly hair)
Radha (Krishna's consort)
Satyavati (speaks the truth)
Savita (sun)
Saroj (lotus)
Revathi (star sign - wealth/prosperity)
Tara (star)
Suparna (lotus)

almost there!

We decided take another pickture of Ranj and the baby this afternoon. I'm spelling it like that cuz it's fun.
She's at 38.5 weeks!
i think the lighting is probably at it's best now. I'm now on disc 3 of the strobist DVDs.

Random thoughts

Week: 39
Weight: 150
Belly: 42
Next appointment: July 25



I went out to lunch with RC last Saturday. We have been eating out non-stop knowing that pretty soon, going out to restaurants maybe a difficult endeavor. The waitress at the restaurant asked me how I wanted my burger cooked. I replied, with a sigh,"Well to medium-well" but then I perked up because I realized one fantastic fact: in a matter of weeks, not months, I will be able to enjoy a medium-rare steak or sushi if I want to. And believe me, I want both of these things so badly, I am drooling just thinking of it. (cute picture, I know). These past few months really have flown by in a sense. I know I have done nothing but complain on this blog but it truly has been a roller-coaster of an experience. I started to re-read some of the posts from the beginning of the pregnancy and look at the belly pictures of when I finally started to show - how hilarious to think that I thought that was big! There were days when I couldn't stand to be pregnant for a second longer and other days where I couldn't believe my luck in having this opportunity. Now that I am at the end of it, which one do I agree with more? Uhh, both! The sacrifices that a woman has to make to create a life are many but the privilege that a woman is given by nature to create a life is tremendous.

Anyway, I had another doctor's appointment today. I officially crossed over the 150 mark which is now just amusing to me, that is, until I climb the stairs of my third-floor walk up. Dr. D said that everything seems to be just fine but that there is absolutely no progression as far as labor is concerned. The baby's head is down but not quite into position so I might try some dromedary drops as a way to help the baby move into the right position. I have been watching a Baby's Story on TLC and one of the mid-wives recommended it. I have been having some Braxton-Hicks contractions but nothing serious. She asked me if there was a particular place where I felt the most movement and I had to laugh. RC has always said this baby is going to be a soccer player but I think it might grow up to be a kick boxer the way he moves around. He clearly doesn't feel restricted by his tight surroundings. She is predicting that the baby will move into position closer to the due date and that will finally begin the fun of contractions. I am hoping that the baby arrives closer to August 1. I don't know why - I just think that August is a good month to be born in.

My friend, Jim, came over for a little tandoori bbq yesterday and he helped me assemble the bassinet. It was actually Roti #1's bassinet so it's about nine years old. I threw all the washable parts in the machine but then couldn't figure out for the life of me how to put it back. Together, Jim and I, wreslted with this impossible contraption until after a good half-hour it all clicked and snapped into place. Leave it to baby stuff to make a person feel totally dumb. Tonight, we are getting together with the Crew for dinner and are going to have Chandy install their old infant seats in our cars. I can't believe little Ava is already 10 months old and out-grown her seats. We are very lucky to have so many friends with baby stuff that they don't mind passing down to us. The Guptas just dropped off their crib to us today. Our apartment is starting to take on a whole different shape and decor. It's hard to avoid allthe baby stuff that has infiltrated our space. The second bedroom is definitely Rishi's room already. I am trying to imagine what it will be like when there is an actual human filling up all of these spaces and clothes but it's hard when you can't picture them yet.

Gosh - but in just two more weeks. . . Wo!

All Star Shower

All Star Shower
Originally uploaded by snapshot chandra

Finally posted from pictures from Ranjana's baby shower. It was a ton of fun from what I can tell from the pictures. click to go to flickr

Pre-partum Anxiety about Post-Partum Depression

Week: 38

Weight: 149

Next appointment: July 19


For those who don't know me, I have struggled with depression on and off since I was 8 years old. It was the worst when I was 16, 20, and 25. Two years ago, my sister, RC, and I participated in an event called The Overnight which is a fundraiser for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. This event along with finding a psychiatrist who has given me tools such as guided imagery and breathing techniques has really changed the way I approach my anxiety and depression. I haven't taken any medication in almost two years and haven't really had a funky mood since last June. The anxiety is still there but so much more manageable that in years past. I think most importantly, it made me realize that mental health is something that has so much stigma associated with it and is never discussed. Since the walk, I have tried to be more vocal about what depression is for me and why it should not make you think any different of me. I think that step has been the biggest contributor to my mental wellness - acceptance of the disorder and a willingness to seek help.

The pregnancy has done some strange things to my mood. Many women have commented that they became irrational and highly emotional when they were pregnant. I kind of went the other way. My sister has even commented at how relaxed and laid back I seem, and if my sister is saying something positive about me - you know its true (little sisters - you know what I am talking about). I have had a few breakdowns and certainly my hypochondriasis has taken hold throughout the pregnancy, but overall, I think I reacted to most things with a much more level head that in years past. I am not sure what has contributed to this: my age - perhaps; my breathing techniques - yah; my abstinence from alcohol (it is a depressant after all); or maybe it is just the realization that there are things that I can change and things that I have to just accept. How does that quote go? "God, grant me the courage to change the things I can and the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference." Pregnancy has been an exercise in losing total control over my body. At times, I am so frustrated by it and will likely never do it again but at the same time, in the past I used to get so worked up over medical issues. Now, my attitude has been more of it will resolve itself in due time.

Well, that is - until recently.

The anxiety regarding the birth of the baby is increasing. Throughout the pregnancy, I have worried that something that I did or ate (or didn't eat) is going to mess up my child. Until now, I consoled myself by telling myself that no matter what the baby looked like or cognitive issues that they had, I would love it regardless. This, of course, has not changed. What has changed is my feeling of guilt. I tried to explain this to RC but he said that I was being ridiculous but I think other moms know what I am saying. For nine months, you carry this baby around and you are their only source of protection and sustenance. While my ultrasounds have revealed no abnormalities, things like autism don't show up on a prenatal test. I know, there is no known cause for autism yet so I can't blame myself even if the child DOES have it but what if something I did made him predisposed to it? RC says that we'll just have to wait and see but in the meantime, I can't help but remember that I forgot to take my prenatals half of the time, I never ate my omega-3 pills, and I have had several half-beers on numerous occasions since the middle of 2nd trimester. And I dyed my hair! My vanity over my kid. Surely, nature will have its way of punishing me for that!

A friend recently told me that having a baby really changes your marriage. I thought that this was obvious but then he went on: you and your spouse are married and are living a life. You have ups and downs but you work through them together. Then, after you have a baby, it's like an asshole, drunk roommate moves in to your house. He poops and vomits everywhere, you have constantly pick up after him, and he doesn't have a job so you have to support him! It starts to take a toll on a marriage. I worry if our marriage can handle Dupree from hell.

I am also very nervous about post-partum depression. My diagnosis of MDD makes me predisposed to post-partum depression. I have talked to a few of my friends who are moms and they told me about their experiences with it and it makes me so anxious. These are well-adjusted, normally healthy women - if they were feeling that bad, what is going to be like for me? Throughout the pregnancy, I have been constantly asking RC if he thinks that I should go back into therapy. I have monitored my moods so carefully but now I feel like they are getting out of control again. And because of that I have decided to go back to Dr. G starting Tuesday to make sure that I don't relapse. I have also made decisions about what I should expect from me after the baby is born. I think one of my biggest problems is that I set extremely high expectations for my behavior and then become upset when I can't achieve those expectations. I punish myself for "disappointing others." For example, we are so lucky because there will be a lot of people in our lives that will want to meet Q right away. Normally, I would try two options: 1). push myself to be social when I am screaming on the inside or 2). withdraw entirely and piss off everyone. What I am realizing is that there is a middle ground and I have to find it. Q. is lucky to have so many people wish us well and I don't want to deny him of their love and affection. At the same time, I don't have to try to play hostess to the guests if I am a mental mess. People will understand and if they don't, I will just have to try to apologize to them when I am normal again.

This is also another comforting realization: Many people who experience depression feel like it will never end; I know that it is finite. I guess it is the benefit of having depression for 20 years; you know it is temporary and you just have to get through it. So I am armed. This doesn't mean that I am ready but at least I have a plan.

The Last Suppers

Week: 36
Weight: 148
Next appointment: July 8 (with my therapist)

The baby showers are done. The shopping is almost complete. Now it's just a waiting game. What has been really funny is all of our friends asking us out to dinner for one last meal as R-squared. It has been really fun catching up with friends that I haven't been able to see for sometime. This past week we met up with the Raghavans and this week we will hopefully catch up with the Abadies, Nair/Pillais, Nangia/Raos, and the Crew! I love it!

Meanwhile, RC has continued to kick booty in his Get Healthy Challenge. He's lost 9 lbs which puts our weight within 6 lbs of each other. Hee hee hee!! I have given up on denying myself my sweet tooth. Ice cream every night, bananas foster for dessert, Cinnabon from the mall - I am relishing this.

I Dream of Rishi

Week: 32.5
Weight: 139
Belly: 40"
Next appointment: June 13

School ended officially on May 30 but because of my maternity leave, curriculum mapping, and a literacy workshop, I still haven't been able to sleep in.

The past few days have been particularly stressful because I am running this workshop for 19 teachers. I have been getting some decent feedback from the participants (mostly teachers from my high school) so that feels good. Something that I noticed that both my sister and I do is we *shred* our performances in our own minds when most everyone else thinks that we did an okay job. Perhaps this comes from years of critiques from Amma, Papa, and each other of various music and dance performances. There is always room to improve and we will always focus on that. I remember sitting in the car ride home after a show and we would dissect every part of our performances. It never felt like I was being broken down but it certainly didn't build me up either. It is something that I have struggled with as a teacher because I constantly have people in my class observing me. There have been post-observations when I am tearing up when I think of my performance when my observer thinks that I did great. I don't know why I have such a hard time being just satisfied with how things went. I guess this is what makes me a good teacher but sometimes I wish that I could just sit back and enjoy success instead of always criticizing myself.

Anyway, when I first got pregnant people would tell me that my dreams would become much more vivid. I have always had very vivid dreams so I wondered how much more they could be. So far I have had several dreams about the pregnancy and most of them seemed very real.

The first one that I had was back at the end of February before we took our Great Expectations - Labor and Delivery class. In the dream, I went into labor early and I had to deliver the baby. As I was checking in to the hospital, I realized that I had never signed up for the tour and I didn't know anything about what to do. Despite this initial panic, I was relatively calm. There weren't enough beds so they were delivering babies in the hallways! They put me in a room because of my high-risk status. One of my co-workers in the English Department was moonlighting in L&D as an OB. She told me that it would probably be a while. Meanwhile, RC was no where to be found but I wasn't looking for him either. I was perfectly content there by myself. I got bored laying around so I started to walk around. I found this cube-like elevator that you had to scrunch down to get into. I took it to the top of Prentiss (my hospital) and there was a small roller coaster through an outdoor park. I sat in the little cart (think: cart from Gringotts) in my backless gown and felt the cool wind in my face. After I got off the cart, I noticed that my oral surgeon, Dr. Schwarz was in the lobby. I then spent the next part of my dream trying to convince him that he should deliver my baby since I loved his care when he removed my sublingual cyst the year before. He didn't think it was a good idea.

Ya. Vivid.

Then after my Great Expectations class, I had another dream that I was in labor. I drove myself to the hospital since RC was at work. He joined me later but the baby (boy) came in the early morning. The doctor tried to wake up him up for the delivery but he was sleeping and said, "O - she's doing fine. I am not worried. She can handle it" and went back to sleep. The next day, when people were visiting, I was up and moving around. I remember thinking in the dream, "Wow, the recovery process for this delivery is a piece of cake!" Rishi was a BIG baby with tons of curly hair and a drooly smile. Again, very little anxiety associated with any of it.

A short time later, I had a dream that I was actually performing Ceseareans - in my bedroom. And I wasn't grossed out at all. This from the girl that had to watch the CGI video on C-section through my fingers.

I also had a dream that again the baby was born early but it was in stable condition. It was really small and bald with HUGE RC kind of eyes. It was also Caucasian. The baby wasn't noisy either. It was just laying there looking around and looking around, assessing everything. I tried to feed the baby and it hurt - A LOT.

As you know, we don't know the gender of our baby. As the day grows closer, this is becoming more and more a source of concern for me. I have always said that it really doesn't matter what I am going to have as long as it is healthy. We have six nephews so I think it would be fun if it is a boy because they could all play together - not to mention the hand-me-downs. But if it is a girl - well - Princess Q. would have everything she could ever want. In a dream I had last week, I went for an ultrasound and found out it was a boy. In the dream, I was so disappointed that we were having (another) boy in the family. I was really shocked my reaction in the dream because maybe I do care after all. But in all the dreams I have had, the baby is always a boy.

Finally, last night I had a dream that kind of disturbed me. We brought the baby home and the baby didn't want to feed initially. So I didn't feed it. Then I got so caught up with other stuff that I totally forgot to feed the baby entirely - for a full day! RC thought I was feeding it and he thought that I was was feeding it. When we finally realized it and I went to try to feed him, he was so mad at me and wouldn't even look at me. I had failed him as a mother and he didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. I was so depressed.

So what do all of these things mean? I am not sure. I should ask my psychiatrist friend to analyze them. I think one thing that I am gleaning is that I really do think that I am carrying a boy. Also, I think when the time comes to deliver this baby, my subconcious thinks I have some inner strength that will kick in. And finally, I think RC is an absentee father. hee hee. No. I am just kidding. I have no idea what his role in all of these dreams are. What do you think?

Nine weeks and counting. . .

Week: 31
Weight: 141
Belly: 39.5"
Next appointment: June 2

I just found out that one of my good friends is pregnant! I am so excited for their families. She is 14 weeks along and I had a nice long conversation with her about the highs and lows of pregnancy thus far. It made me realize that I haven't done one of these updates in a while. We have been better about taking pictures of the belly every two weeks but not so good about updating the blog. The last time I did one (February) I was 118 lbs, 8 inches smaller in the waist, and barely four months along. I don't even remember the 120s or 130s. My weight shot up pretty rapidly, to me anyway. Most people are telling me that I still don't look pregnant from the back but I hung out with Che yesterday and no one tells it to you like it is like a sister. She said my face is definitely more round as are my legs and bottom.

What I do find annoying are the men in my life telling me how HUGE I am. Just a word of advice gents, don't ever tell a woman that whether they are pregnant or not. It just isn't a great thing to hear. They try to back track by saying, "O please - you're still so small." Well, I don't feel that way and I don't need you pointing that out constantly. *You* try gaining 20 lbs. in three months and see how you feel after that!!

People also tell me that I am too vain - that I should be focused on the fact that all these nutrients are going to the baby and that's why I am gaining the weight. I should just enjoy this time in my life. As much as a control freak that I am, it is hard to hand over your body to someone else for a few months. Weight gain aside, you have absolutely no control over anything in your body. The baby is moving around constantly and I can't stop it. She (odd day remember??) wakes me up in the middle of the night with her swift kicks and punches. I still get dizzy spells in the morning that make it really hard to get things done sometimes. The sleepiness is sometimes overwhelming. And I know everyone goes through it but it doesn't make it any easier when it is happening to you.

Speaking of things happening to me - I had a fun trip to Labor & Delivery again yesterday. I wonder how many times I'll actually end up at L&D before I actually am in labor. If you remember, I was admitted at the end of March because I was having contractions because of a degenerating fibroid. This time, I had no contractions but I was having some bleeding so when I went to my doctor yesterday for an office visit, she got nervous because of my idiopathic thrombocytopenia (low platelets) and sent me to L&D. I was there from 3pm until 6pm and all I had done during that time was a CBC (blood draw), pelvic, and an ultrasound. Fortunately, Che was there to keep me company like a good Chechi so I wasn't too anxious or bored. All tests showed that Q was active, healthy, and in no mood to make an appearance on this side anytime soon.

Godh Bharai

Godh Bharai-246
Originally uploaded by snapshot chandra

Mom threw Ranj her Godh Bharai last weekend in Chicago. I was wonderful to see so many of Mom and Dad's friends come out. We were showered with gifts for the baby.
Click on the picture to view a gallery of pics from the Godh Bharai.

Catchlight

shootthrough catch light
Originally uploaded by snapshot chandra

My lightstands came in today. Together with an sb28dx strobe a shoot through umbrella, and a poverty wizard I was able to tool around and get some self-portraits in. This one was fun b/c of the very clear catchlight. Now that pretty much everything is here, the portraiture practice begins.

Happy Mom's Day!

I hope that everyone has taken the time out today to recognize the woman in your life, (biological or otherwise), that is your mother. On this day, I am always reminded of the book "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein. For those who are not familiar with it, it starts with the line, "Once there was a tree...and she loved a little boy." The apple tree provides the little boy shade, a place to play, protection, and most importantly, unconditional love. It is a sad book at times, but I look to it as a source of inspiration, reminding me that my own mother has given so much of herself to raise me and to appreciate her everyday. Now, I have also been blessed with a mother-in-law who would sacrifice herself to give me what I want and more importantly, what I need. I hope that I can provide Q with even half of the love that these two gorgeous women have given me.

Long time no blog

I haven't been blogging recently mostly because there has been so much going on! In the past few weeks, we:

1. celebrated X's bday in Austin

2. took a trip to NMH's Labor and Delivery room. I was having mild contractions due to a degenerating uterine fibroid. It was holy pain but I am glad to have a little more room for Q to grow.

3. The pain pills they gave me made things worse because I can't take Norco or Vicodin. I spent two days in bed not eating anything because nothing would stay down. I got different pain meds (mmmm Darvocet) and started feeling better after a few days.

4. Met my sister's fiance's family. That was fun.

5. Started and finished our four week Great Expectations class. It was a class offered by NMH for patients to get acquainted with the hospital, learn about the different types of labor and delivery and some comfort measures. I have to say that prior to this class I was actually getting very comfortable with the idea of giving birth in any one of the multiple ways that it could go down. Well, that class made more anxious than before which I am sure was not it's intended purpose. Labor sounds really hard. The idea of doing it without an epidural sounds crazy. During the video about epidurals, one of the women talked about how it was really important for her to still feel her baby come out of her. I was thinking, "am I crazy for specifically NOT wanting that feeling?" After talking to some folks, I decided that it was not an abnormal sentiment. I watched the C-section video through cracks in my fingers becase even though it was mostly CGI, I was completely creeped out by the idea of the doctor taking their hands and moving my inerds around to yank the baby out. Creeps you out a little too, doesn't it? The last class was all about the post-partum fun. Wow. The fun doesn't end when you give birth. It keeps coming for weeks and weeks later. Well, I guess it's too late to turn back now and one day this baby will come out one way or another. I have three months to get comfortable with this idea.

6. Saw Roti #2 perform at the Best of the Best show at McCormick place. He did such a great job even though there were thousands of people in the audience. The show itself was fantastic. It puts the stuff that we were doing in college to shame. I was so impressed with these kids that clearly were raised in this country throwing down some straight up traditional bhangra/raas/garba. The costumes were bright, colorful and fun. The dancing was sick. Check out the videos if you don't believe me.

7. Went to see my Hem/Onc. Platelets down more. Bleh. Dr. Williams was, as always, really optimistic. She isn't worried yet which makes me relax more. She was a good find. When I went to my next OB appointment, Dr. D was not so optimistic. I have decided that when it comes to blood related issues, I am going to follow Dr. Williams' lead instead of my OB. I get to meet with an anesthesiologist before the delivery because of all this bloody drama (oh yea, pun totally intended). One more thing to settle my mind.

8. This past weekend was my BFF's bday party. Her hubby did a great job organizing a fabulous surprise weekend for her. I think she loved every minute of it. I know I enjoyed my part because it involved four very stressful (ha!) hours at Tricoci getting a massage, mani and pedi with the bday girl and six of our friends.

9. RC celebrated Roti #3 & 4s' bdays on Saturday back in Ohio. Three already!!

10. Yesterday, I boarded the plane to come to the Internatial Reading Association's annual convention in Atlanta. It is 25,000 teachers of reading coming together for four days of intensive conferences about how to improve literacy. Today started at 8:00 and I just got back to my room now (10 pm!). I am exhausted but exhiliarated by all the things that I am learning.

11. Meanwhile, yesterday RC went to the Cincinnati Hindu temple to conduct a pooja with his family in honor of his father's death anniversary. I spent the evening with Dad's younger brother and his family here in ATL.

12. I head back on Thursday and we turn around and head straight to Ohio on Friday after school for my Seemant Sanskar/Godh Bharna (Hindu baby shower) in Cincy.

Whew! We took another belly shot this week but I don't think RC has posted it yet. It's getting BIG. I can now see it when I look straight down. Weird.

So what can you do with $4.76

No, that's not how much gas costs in chicago - although with the hebrew national, i must say, i'm not as familiar with gas prices. smirk.

So Ranj has really been craving her BaskinRobbins ice cream recently. Usually we have two flavors in the fridge b/c she thinks that the quarts of ice cream taste better than the stuff at the store. Last week, when we were at our local BR we saw a sticker for $.31 scoops on 4.30. I made a mental note and we went back there yesterday.
There was quite the line there and it was as exciting as BR gets. Four people scooping and one at the register. The donuts looked lonely. Initially, we had each planned to get a scoop and walk home. I saw somebody walk out with a sack of scoops so i had to ask if there was a limit.
"10."
We proceeded to buy 14 scoops! Ranj got some doubles of pistachio and strawberry cheesecake and I selected two individual scoops of everything chocolaty. We walked out happily holding our rocky road sugar cones and a sack of ice cream for the next couple of weeks.
And you can prolly guess the total.

Air Guitar Hero

Tonight was a beautiful night here in Chicago. It was warm, dark and drizzly. I decided to go for a walk to get to my 10,000 steps (more on that next week). I went out the back door and headed towards the lake with my ipod.
One of the reasons i like rem so much is that no matter how many times i listen to an album, i hear something new with almost each new listen be it thematic, lyrical or instrumental. Accelerate just came out earlier this month and i've listened to it many times but this was the first headphone, walk-in-the-rain, dark listen.
I felt like i was a 15 year old again walking around in a drizzle listening to his music so intently that the air guitar and air drums just flowed.
I made it to the lake and continued listening, singing aloud and doing my strange combination of air guitar, air drum and stipe dance. Long hair flapping the air and rain. It was wonderful. I shot some vid on my treo and added a track to help readers understand.
I returned from the lake listening to the pumpkins' siamese dream. I felt myself walking around like a 17 year old in college with all sorts of sticky sweet confidence... playing my six string electric in the air.

21 weeks @ alamo hdr

21 weeks @ alamo hdr
Originally uploaded by snapshot chandra

The pic is a bit old but it's still fun. The baby will be a traveler if we can help it.

Leftover flowers from Vishu

Leftover flowers from Vishu
Originally uploaded by snapshot chandra

I got home a bit early to let somebody to onto our condo property and i've been reading and playing with off camera lighting a bit. I had some time and didn't feel like doing something truly productive for this Wednesday so I set up shop in the dining room aka our project room. My current projects are off camera lighting and a macro or product box that I made based on instructions from strobist.com. more pics after the jump.

We Wish U a Happy Vishu!

Happy Vishu!
It's early but here's some high dynamic range fun.
More on the celebration later - i'm still wiping the sleep from my eyes.

Spring is in the air!

dead planters
Originally uploaded by snapshot chandra

Spring is so totally in the air in Chicago this weekend. On Friday at work, everybody was already talking about Saturday's forecast. True enough the forecast held and it was beautiful 65 and sunny. Nuthin but blue skies.
I took a walk midday to the library and toted along my 24mm f/2 that is finally back from repair. (Yes, 24mm f/2!)
Each spring, things start green. Each spring, I realize that we didn't quite put everything away the fall before. This year is no different and the plants that were in there died a slow cold death. I can't even remember what was in these planters - perhaps mint judging by the multiple sprouts.
Later that afternoon, i walked down Chicago's frat row - Sheffield - after the Cubs game let out. Everybody was out and about and lovin life while drinking cans of beer and playing bag toss (corn hole if you're from Iowa or Ohio).
I ended that second walk at the Cubby Bear to help celebrate our friend, Jim's 30th birthday. His wife, Mel, had set up quite the surprise having 20 friends show up to the Cubs game and prolly thirty to the bar to watch the final four. Happy Birthday Jim! Happy Spring to everyone else!

Everything is closed on Easter in Texas

theater outside of fredrickstown hdr
Originally uploaded by snapshot chandra

There is a town 90 minutes away from San Antonio that I can best describe as Galena of Texas. It's a cute basically one street town that has many boutique and knick knack shops lined up on each side. There are cafes, ice cream parlors, bed and breakfasts and the like up and down the street making it look really quaint - especially compared to San Antonio and many of the suburban mainstreets popping up seemingly everywhere.
We, Ranj, our friend Meera, and myself, went there our second day in TX. This happened to be on Easter Sunday. On the way there, we looked for a cord for my ipod to play in our rental Cobalt. Target, Best Buy and others were closed for Easter - who knew?
We took out time and drove on to Fredricksburg/town taking in the hills and such. Just before we got into town, Meera and i spotted this old drive in movie lot and noted that it would be a cool place to take some pics. Nonetheless, we continued into town.
What we didn't realize was that even this town would be closed for Easter. All but about three shops were closed. We were bummed but out purses were happy.
To top it off, it happened to be a really cool and windy day and there wasn't even a cafe to step into to grab some coffee or hot chocolate. There we were walking around on a sunny but cold day lamenting that everything was closed on Easter Sunday in Texas.
Does this happen everywhere? In all of my years, i don't recall things being closed on Easter but I can't recall ever trying to anywhere on that day specifically.
After a a couple of hours tooling around, we went back to San Antonio and of course stopped by the drive in for some pics. This one was done on a tripod through a car dealership opened up wide and then some HDR and tonemapping.
More Texas pics in Flickr soon and after the jump.

X's Ninja Party begins!

So we're in Austin preparing for X's 6th birthday party. He actually turned six a few days ago but birthday parties for younguns generally work better on weekends. He's excited.
The theme for the party is NINJA. It's not attached to a particular cartoon or disney character so it allows for more originality in the the party production.
Chetathi made a tray of brownies frosted it, sprinkled it, candled it, found some small ninja ornaments to put on.
The balloons have been blown up and stringed together. The chips are out. X and Bunzer are napping and the party begins in an hour....

Can't beat this. . .

Major love from X & D on X's 6th bday. This Appachi was in heaven. So far, our trip to Texas has been a series of unplanned events. Most of the things that we have planned have not worked out but we are having blast anyway! More later.

Baby, I Got Your Back

According to Elyse Rubenstein, a Philadelphia psychiatrist who counsels new mothers, the term refers to "an inborn tendency to want to protect and nurture one's offspring." Almost all mothers (human and animal alike) eventually come to feel this way after they have a child. (from BabyCenter.com).


It has been my experience that some women are born with this instinct to protect the young. I wasn't programmed that way. Don't get me wrong, if a kid is hurt, I will do my best to help it (unless it is bleeding - then I would just pass out). But I don't think my behavior would change dramatically if the injured person was 1 or 60; I would just help in the way that I could. Some people however, get really protective of young children. They are always watching out for it and making sure they don't get hurt. I always thought that I am too selfish this way and wondered if it would change once I became a mother. People kept telling me that it would but I wasn't so sure. When children cry for small injuries, I don't become sympathetic and tender - I get annoyed and want to tell them to suck it up. Che used to make fun of me for it because I was so cold with little kids. RC is much better at this which is why he was often asked to babysit and I never was. I remember the first time Didi asked me to watch Roti 2 on my own, I asked her, "Are you sure??" Then, when I babysat all four Rotis at once, I actually invited my friend who is a mom of two to come over because I didn't trust myself. Fortunately, no injuries occured on my watch so I am still allowed to play with them. =)


But then I became pregnant and nothing really changed. There is some book that I read that said that women become mothers when they get pregnant and men become fathers once they finally see their baby. I didn't notice any change in thinking so I began to wonder if I would ever feel this thing called maternal instinct. Well, then Revathi (odd days we are referring to it as a girl, even days we are trying out all the boy names) started to move around and I started to feel a little more connected to her. Then RC started to talk to her on a regular basis and that also started to make me feel more like a family but not quite maternal.


Then because of an event in my family, it clicked. I was being asked to leave her for a few hours with Mom to attend an event in the middle of August. Our due date is at the end of July so even if she was born two weeks early, that would make her only a month old. A few months ago, if I heard about this situation as an outsider, I would have thought, "What is the big deal? That mom is such a freak. It's only a few hours." In fact, I respected new mothers who would leave their kids after only a few weeks; thinking that they were not letting this motherhood thing cramp their style. But I couldn't commit to the event. I called Didi to see if I was overreacting. Since she is a pediatrician and a mom, I thought that she has heard of situations like this and would give me an honest answer. She told me that if a infant gets a fever in the first six weeks that the usual course of action would be hospitalization. Tears blurred my thoughts when I thought about Revathi in a hospital with tubes sticking out of her. I remember visiting Roti 3 in the hospital when he was five months and that was horrible to see. All the sudden, I felt it - the NEED to protect this baby from any danger out there. Also, I plan on breastfeeding and I thought, who else can feed this child if I am gone for a few hours? Newborns nurse every three hours or so. RC, Didi, or Mom can certainly provide outstanding care for her and will make sure she doesn't get sick, but I am the only one that can give her food. Perhaps it is my pregnancy hormones but let's be real - the post-partum ones won't make me any more rational. For that reason, I am making the decision now so that I won't feel guilty later. Even though making that decision has been agonizing, one good thing that has come out of it was that it has made me feel so close to this life inside of me.


I think I am finally ready for this motherhood thing.

O Baby!!

Wow. In two days, Spring Break is here. Until then, I am living at school. On Thursday, the students are turning in this massive project that they have been working on for two weeks. Last year, I had the students work on the whole thing at once. Knowing that my freshmen couldn't handle that this year, I modified the lesson plans to make parts of the project homework. That meant that in order to complete the project, I had to grade and return all the components so that they can revise them. FOURTEEN components. 105 students. Loads of bad grammar. The good news: the students are turning in some incredible work product; the bad news: I have been buried under paper for two weeks. I will have to take most of this work with me when I head to Texas on Saturday but hopefully, since I have read most of it already, it will go quickly.

In other good news, the ACT test prep class I teach ends tonight. The bad news: I have to proctor their last practice exam until about 8:30. I really should just sleep on the couch that I have in my classroom.

Strange pregnancy cravings for sugar this week. I can't stop eating cotton candy, Starburst and drinking Sprite. I guess it's not really sugar as is a craving for high fructose corn syrup. So much for all those healthy cravings for fruit.

I haven't measured my belly in a long time but it sure it getting bigger. I forgot to blog about how I am finally feeling the baby move. It makes this whole thing way too real. I have had conflicted feelings towards pregnancy long before I was ever thinking about getting pregnant. When it finally happened, I was a little spooked, anxious, and grossed out. These feelings melted away in one moment.

I was laying in bed last Thursday not sleeping as usual because there is no such thing as a comfortable position anymore. Plus, Q was in one of her squirmier moods. Rohit was dozing comfortably. He had been trying to feel the baby move for about two weeks with no success. At around 2:30am, I pulled his hand to my belly. He still didn't stir. Then, one swift kick, eyes flew open, a broad grin, and a whisper, "Was that it?" In that moment, it suddenly didn't gross me out to think that there was a parasite sucking the life out of me. That moment, I was superhuman - or rather, exceptionally human - I was creating life. Dramatic, I know. It is obviously the way we all got here so there is very little that is exceptional about it except I have never done it before. Regardless, it changed my feelings towards this experience entirely. I am looking forward to all these other new, wonderful things that pregnancy has in store for me. Especially the big show in the end!

More later. I have to get these kiddos to finish up their Science Reasoning test.

Shamrock Shake is like melted ice cream!

In other words, a McDonald's Shamrock Shake is heaven. Even the small (337g) is delicious and should be considered a meal substitute during this time the year. I, RC, just downed one in about ten minutes - pure delish!
Try one yourself and you'll have just consumed:

530 calories

77g sugar

13g fat (20% of the recommended daily intake)

340g sodium (14% of the recommended daily intake)

94g carbohydrates (31% of the recommended daily intake)

0 fibre

11 grams protein

35% of recommended daily calcium intake (thank golly for small favours)

--yah. That's a SMALL.

Dairy Mix	Modified milk ingredients, sugar, glucose, soy mono and diglycerides, guar gum, dextrose, artificial vanilla flavour, carrageenan, cellulose gum.
Triple Thick Shamrock Shake Syrup	Sugar/glucose-fructose, water, colour (beta carotene (containts sunflower oil), FD&C Blue #1), natural flavour (water, propylene glycol, vegetable gum, plant extractives, essential oils), sodium benzoate, citric acid, dimethylpolysiloxane (antifoaming agent).

courtesy the mcdonalds.ca nutritional calendar (http://www.mcdonalds.ca/en/food/calculator.aspx)

McDonald's disclaimer: "Percentage Daily values are based on a 2,000 Calorie diet. Your Daily
values may be higher or lower depending on your Calorie needs.

just hanging around

cls fruit-1-Edit
Originally uploaded by snapshot chandra

RR took a nap after work yesterday before we went out to dinner for Papa's 62d birthday. While she was napping, I was snapping.
We went to the Blue Water Grill - yummy yummy yummy.

Curly's pic at 20 weeks

As mentioned already in our non-live blogging below, we had a successful pulaski day that included getting to see Curly's organs, face, etc. Curly is a cutie though some of the face shots are a bit scary cuz they look like skeletor! Creepy fo shure!
My favorite part other than our moms' being there was when we were able to hear Curly's heartbeat with RR's substitute OB. The OB was great and Curly stepped up to the mic fluttering away!
20 weeks up 20 to go! I'm picking out my oven mitts!

RR vs. Mango

Awhile back, I posted about RR's cravings. They really have only gotten easier to handle. I'm really really surprised. I thought if there was anyone that would want me to run out and get different types of food it'd be her. Nope, she's easy peasy that way.
So on the way back from the doctor's office last week, Amma, Mom, RR and I stopped by Stanley's fruit market on elston/north. That place is the best. A few days before we drove by it at some point and RR saw that it was selling mangoes for $.50 a pop. We grabbed a bunch of fruit for the week that i think i wrote about already.
Last night, RR attacked one of the mangoes. She eats them differently than most. She'll mush them up and squeeze out all of the fruit. In a way it's cleaner, and in a way it's a big mess.
I was tooling around with my 105 f/2.5 and love the shots.
RR loves her mangoes!

It's a. . .

Yah, right!  You didn't really think I was going to tell you, did you??  Despite our mother's best efforts, we were able to get through the entire 1-hour ultrasound without finding out the baby's gender.  But the most important organs seem to be developing well so I am assuming those other ones are just fine.  We were able to see several pictures of the babies heart, spine, bladder, stomach, kidneys, and brain.  All seem to have appropriate development for the baby's size as well as good blood flow.  I was also able to cross off spina bifida and Down's syndrome from my list of things to worry about thanks to the ultrasound.  I am not sure why I was so worried about neural tube defects since I drink orange juice every day and have been taking a women's multi-vitamin for almost a year.  Ah, if only the pregnant mind was rational.  

This past weekend was a lot of fun because I was actually able to host people at the house without feeling completely exhausted.  I spent the day mopping the floors.  It had been about two months since my last time on my hands and knees to get the hardwoods shiny because I was feeling so awful.  Other than my tummy getting in the way and being a little out of breath, the scrubbing went well and my floors were shiny (Thanks Murphy's!!).  My current cleaning person doesn't like to use Murphy's Oil Soap because she says it dries out my wood and uses vinegar instead.  But the vinegar makes the whole house stink and leaves my floors looking dull.  AND she didn't dust/mop under the furniture.  AND because she uses the same mop water throughout the whole house, the living room floor (the last room to be cleaned) was actually still pretty filthy.  I have to have a talk with her about it but not quite sure how to say it tactfully.  I dunno'.  I think now that I have this energy back and feeling okay, I am going to try to keep up with my own scrubbing regiment as long as Q will let me.   

The rest of the evening was great.  Two couples we know came over and one couple brought their two adorable daughters (2 y/o and 3 months).   It was fun hanging out with them especially since we haven't seen either in a while.  Then we headed over to Hot Chocolate for some dessert.  If you have never been - what are you waiting for??  It's not just a dessert bar but their desserts are definitely what they are known for.  I had a banana bread pudding that just brought me to tears.  Our friends had a granny smith apple dessert (no chocolate) and a peanut butter dessert, and RC ordered our favorite - brioche doughnuts served with caramel popcorn and hot fudge.  Yum. yum. yum.

20 weeks in...

RR had the 20 week sonogram today. Both Amma and Mom were in attendance. Everything went well. We'll post more later along with a few pics.
Curly is at 50% growth which means average. I think it means above average b/c we are kind of small. Everything else is on target.
On the way back, we all stopped off at Stanley's Fruit Market and picked up some Mangas (2/$1), organic Kiwis, Juice Oranges, Nectarines, and an Apple-Pear or Pear-Apple b/c those are neat.
More later as the live blogging this Pulaski day continues...

btw, that's Kazimierz Pulaski to the right despite the Maluu stache!

last snow in chicago?

last snow in chicago?
Originally uploaded by snapshot chandra

I really hope this is the last snow that we have this season in Chicago. I read somewhere earlierz this week that this was our 35th measurable snowfall this season - yikes!
I didn't feel like going outside for this shot, i stood up near a window and took a bunch till i liked it.
Then of course, i did have to go outside to shovel!

Continuing on this vein . . .

Our blog friend, A N N A, recently wrote this hilarious post about disciplining children. I had to put my two cents in there and since I was just talking about the same topic on this blog, I thought I would just keep yammering away -

One comment said the following:

the post just reminded me, as a new parent, of the huge change in perspective one experiences, seemingly in an instant, once baby comes. And cmon, you are going to try and defend that "Well then let me step in and discipline your uncivilized beast-child" or "if you parent well, it's imperceptible to the naked eye and nearly impossible to remember." etc does not in any way suggest that you, as a non-parent, believe you know more about parenting than some actual parents? pa-shaaa.

I don't think that anyone is saying that anyone is better at parenting but rather better at disciplining. Parenting involves many other things beyond just discipline just as teaching involves many other things other than educating them on a specific content. In teacher education programs, they speak at length about appropriate classroom management skills. We have to create these classroom management plans that outline how we are going to handle our little darlings in our classes. Of course, much like parenting, these ideals go out the window when you are actually standing in front of 30 kids. But those of us who retain some of that research and ideology benefit a great deal as a result. There are some teachers with no ability to control a classroom unless they are AP angels - there are others who can take a group of ADHD, oppositional-defiant children and help them learn and create. Are they a better teacher? Not necessarily; they are just better at discipline. When it comes to disciplining my students, I have never had a complaint from a administrator, parent or student (okay, one student) that I have been unfair or unreasonable. But do I lay the law down? - HELL ya. My rules are clearly stated (only two: 1. Treat everyone with respect and 2. Don't make me lose my trust in you), evenly handed, and rarely given during a moment of anger.

As a teacher and a non-parent, it is easy for me to say to tell people that their children are out of hand. But as a product of a very disciplined upbringing, I can also easily say how thankful I am to my parents for not letting me be an annoyance to everyone around me. It isn't about corporal punishment. My parents rarely spanked me. It was just a withering look, or a few stern words, and our understanding of how to behave. My parents were still telling us we were the most misbehaved kids on the block but I remember overhearing other parents comment at how incredibly well-behaved we were. As a future parent, I resolve to not give in to my child's whining (just as I don't give into my students' whining) or tears just because I want them to like me more. What many people don't understand is that children love rules. They may fight you every step of the way but rules mean that someone is looking out for them. Rules mean someone cares enough to establish some boundaries. Kids crave consistency even if it means that they don't get everything that they want. Q will love me BECAUSE I discipline her. Feel free to point to this in a year when I am crying about how she is making me crazy. =)

A New Attitude and P/T Conferences

Tonight we had parent-teacher conferences at school. I met with about 19 students' parents. I always enjoy meeting the parents because it gives me such a back-story about their lives. I have heard horror stories of parents coming in drunk or coming in and screaming at the teachers. Fortunately, that has never happened to me and the few times that they have come in upset, they usually walk out understanding where I am coming from. I do get frustrated by parents that say, "I just don't know what to do with ____." I know I will probably eat these words later but to me, if you're a parent - you have to lay the law down. My friend whose baby is only 7 months old, disciplines her child now. I think that's awesome. I grew up in a very strict household and while I do think that my parents were a little harsh with their rules sometimes (no more than 10 minutes on the phone a night - remember that, J?), I also think that if I didn't have that discipline, I probably wouldn't be where I am now. Some of these parents just let their kids make all the decisions and get frustrated with them when they don't make the right ones. Ummmm, they are 15! Of course they would rather hang out with their friends than do their homwork. They are going to sit online all night before they study for their test. Ok, not all kids need their parents guidance. But it is the kids whose parents are guiding them gently that are the ones making the good decisions. I know. I am going to end up with some hellacious child that never listens to me and all parents everywhere will point and tell me what a bad parent I am.

Speaking of the pregnancy . . . update time.
Week: 18
Weight: 118
Belly: no measurement but I feel LARGE
Next appointment: March 3

Great news! I feel GREAT! I almost don't even feel pregnant anymore. I am still tired and have the appetite of my young, male students but I don't feel sick all the time. The headaches have subsided. For the most part, the round ligament pain is gone also. So THIS is what second trimester is supposed to feel like!

Oscar Party Summary Part 2

Every year at the Oscars, there is a red carpet show. Our party is no different. We have our red carpet entrance filled with papparazzi and everything. We don't have live interviews but we do admire each other's clothing, jewelry and props. Of course, our clothing is also not designer. We all show up dressed in costume based on a character from any movie release the year before.
And every year during the show, rr painstakingly compiles the photos from that year and often from years before and puts together a slide show, or a power point presentation. Because of her experience with imovie and our new year's show, she decided to do it imovie style. We recently got an appletv and hooked it up to our fiddy so we were able to stream the imovie directly to the audience. here's what what seen...enjoy.
Don't worry winners will be announced soon.

r2 5th annual oscar party summary part. 1

This year's Oscar party was a first for many and the 5th for most. Everybody shared in the glory of the new fiddy inch on the wall. The actual awards were good though this year, more than any other, everybody had seen even fewer movies. Perhaps, it was because the number of blockbusters nominated was so low and perhaps it was because most of the movies nominated were dark flicks. Jon Stewart was good but not great. His novelty has lost it's charm as a host for the Oscars - despite the obvious wii and iphone plugs. He should stick to his day job.
Our weighted ballot is included in this link. The customization of the ballot - in detail - is designed to give more weight for choosing the more difficult to pick winners as well as some of the more important categories.
It used to take forever to get it done but with a .pdf writer it has become a cinch and truly a replica of the oscar.com version (except for the fine print).
It was sent out along with the invite and normally, i've got lots of copies floating around. This year however, i neglected to make copies and once everyone was over, i couldn't figure out if our printer was plugged in or where the driver went. ah well.
We had to free hand it...

imdb

now we're imdb'ing the goonies; inveriablym, imdb comes out.

red carpets arrivals

So we've had about 13 or 14 folks roll in on the red carpet. we'll get em up on flickr later but check us out here... as bleecher and juno from juno

The countdown has begun....

Only 6 hours till red carpet arrivals!

Don't want to speak to soon

Wow. Maybe I'm over the hump . . .TODAY WAS AWESOME. I woke up not feeling sick. I ate some spiiiiicy pau bhaji for brunch with no reflux. I had the energy to tidy up our place and do laundry. Yes!!! (I have also managed to procrastinate grading some essays that I've been putting off for a while too.)

My friends who are scattered throughout the US have been asking to see my "bump". Since I am feeling so good, I'm going to flaunt this today.

I also recently found out that I'll be heading to ATL for the first week of May for a reading conference. I am very excited since two of my friends from work will also be going on the same trip. AND I get to see Rohit's cousins who live there. I have been trying to convince RC to join me during the first weekend so that we can all hang out together but he is still undecided.

And tomorrow is the Oscars! Yay. I am in a totally different mood than I have been over the past few weeks. I'm not going to get too excited yet but this is so great.

Is it over yet?

Week: 17
Weight: 118
Belly: 33"
Next appointment: March 3 (20 week ultrasound AND a Hem/Onc appointment)

Ok - NOT the pregancy. I get that that is going to go on for a while but this ickiness needs to just go! I had another dizzy spell on Tuesday. I was teaching my first hour class and the room just started to spin. I dizzily doled out a group assignment quickly and I could see in their eyes that they could see behind mine. I ran out of the room with a trash can and charged into the faculty lounge (thankfully, across the hall). Another teacher helped me out and watched my class as I tried (fortunately successfully) to keep my breakfast down. I was sweating like crazy and I know that all the blood was out of my face. But I couldn't just leave my kids so I headed back there. When I came back, they were so sweet and concerned. Then I had two students that were asking, "Ms. R - Mario wants to ask you something." "No, you ask!" "No YOU ask!!" "Well, we don't want you get upset." "It's kind of personal." "We don't want you get offended . . ." They danced around it for a while and then finally, "Are you pregnant??" When I said yes the whole class erupted in cheers. It was really cute. I started to feel better. Now, they ask me how I am feeling every day. Cuties.

I had another doctor's appointment last week. Nothing spectacular - not even an ultrasound. We heard the baby's heartbeat on a Doppler. That was pretty cool. I have been having some abdominal pain but of course, the doctor explained that it was normal and all was well. I had two vials of blood drawn for some labs. My high-risk OB wants to monitor my thyroid as well as my platelets plus I had the second component of the genetic screening to finish. I am very nervous about those results and I am trying not to think about it too much. She also told me that I need to get back in touch with my Hematologist. I left a message with the Hem/Onc's office yesterday and within 45 minutes I got a call back from the doctor! Amazing. She told me that I need to come see her in the next few weeks so I guess it's more blood draws for me!

This past weekend we were in Ohio to visit Mom. It was a nice relaxing trip even though I spent most of it on the couch (ya, sick again). We went maternity clothes shopping and she was nice enough to buy me three new shirts! I am getting so tired of wearing the same old things. A plea to all the readers: if you have any old maternity stuff and you think it might fit me, please shoot me an email because I would love to borrow, rent, or maybe even purchase it. I don't plan on getting pregnant ever again so buying new maternity stuff seems like a waste. And why can't I buy stuff that is a few sizes too large? Because of my weird proportions, my waist is too long and regular clothing is cut too short: you can still see my tummy if I wear it. Maternity stuff seems to be the only thing covering it all. I have also moved all of my super-fitted clothing out of my closet because it was making me frustrated that I couldn't wear them anymore. All in due time I guess.

Oscar Countdown

Everybody needs to get their costumes ready b/c the 5th Annual R*2 Oscar Party is this Sunday. The weighted ballots are out and people are busy coming up with costume ideas. We'll have a weighted ballot posted here shortly and everybody can play online.
This year, we'll have a new feature in that we'll have live blogging during our red carpet entrances and through the ceremony including the awarding of a the golden oscar statue for the winner of best costume of a character from 2007's movies.
Stay tuned....

Lincoln's Birthday

So working for the county is definitely nice in February. I get both Lincoln's birthday and President's day off. This past tuesday, Edgar and I decided to spend the day snow shoeing in Kettle Moraine state forest in Wisco. Well, Abe must have been mad at us for leaving the Illl b/c we spent 3 hours getting up there fighting traffic and snow, and 4 hours getting back fighting even more traffic and snow.

While up there, we snow shoed through some beautiful, silent, dense, snow-filled, forest. It was great. I took a bunch of pics whilst there and Edgar was patient as i took my gloves off and stopped the progression each time i saw something neat. To the right is some treatment in lightroom.

Oh yeah, after hiking for almost 4 hours we came back and the hebrew national was stuck in the ditch/shoulder on the side of the trailhead and it took us an hour to get out! 100% worth it.

... More pics to be posted later on flickr.