Continuing on this vein . . .

Our blog friend, A N N A, recently wrote this hilarious post about disciplining children. I had to put my two cents in there and since I was just talking about the same topic on this blog, I thought I would just keep yammering away -

One comment said the following:

the post just reminded me, as a new parent, of the huge change in perspective one experiences, seemingly in an instant, once baby comes. And cmon, you are going to try and defend that "Well then let me step in and discipline your uncivilized beast-child" or "if you parent well, it's imperceptible to the naked eye and nearly impossible to remember." etc does not in any way suggest that you, as a non-parent, believe you know more about parenting than some actual parents? pa-shaaa.

I don't think that anyone is saying that anyone is better at parenting but rather better at disciplining. Parenting involves many other things beyond just discipline just as teaching involves many other things other than educating them on a specific content. In teacher education programs, they speak at length about appropriate classroom management skills. We have to create these classroom management plans that outline how we are going to handle our little darlings in our classes. Of course, much like parenting, these ideals go out the window when you are actually standing in front of 30 kids. But those of us who retain some of that research and ideology benefit a great deal as a result. There are some teachers with no ability to control a classroom unless they are AP angels - there are others who can take a group of ADHD, oppositional-defiant children and help them learn and create. Are they a better teacher? Not necessarily; they are just better at discipline. When it comes to disciplining my students, I have never had a complaint from a administrator, parent or student (okay, one student) that I have been unfair or unreasonable. But do I lay the law down? - HELL ya. My rules are clearly stated (only two: 1. Treat everyone with respect and 2. Don't make me lose my trust in you), evenly handed, and rarely given during a moment of anger.

As a teacher and a non-parent, it is easy for me to say to tell people that their children are out of hand. But as a product of a very disciplined upbringing, I can also easily say how thankful I am to my parents for not letting me be an annoyance to everyone around me. It isn't about corporal punishment. My parents rarely spanked me. It was just a withering look, or a few stern words, and our understanding of how to behave. My parents were still telling us we were the most misbehaved kids on the block but I remember overhearing other parents comment at how incredibly well-behaved we were. As a future parent, I resolve to not give in to my child's whining (just as I don't give into my students' whining) or tears just because I want them to like me more. What many people don't understand is that children love rules. They may fight you every step of the way but rules mean that someone is looking out for them. Rules mean someone cares enough to establish some boundaries. Kids crave consistency even if it means that they don't get everything that they want. Q will love me BECAUSE I discipline her. Feel free to point to this in a year when I am crying about how she is making me crazy. =)